I had so many nice comments about chapter 1. A few on here and several on my FB page! Thank you all for your kind words. It is not hard to talk about, because God has healed the wounds. I hope that my story will help someone else to see that we can overcome. It is a choice to be a VICTIM or VICTORIOUS, I choose to be VICTORIOUS! In chapter 2 I will talk about something that may be disturbing to you, but it must be done. I am not sure why I feel the need to do this. Maybe someone reading this will find the strength to forgive something in their past. If that happens, I have done my part. I wish this kind of thing had never happened to anyone. I used to ask WHY LORD. Now I know there is a reason for everything. Maybe the reason is so I could be strong, and help others through it.
As I told you in chapter 1, my grandma adopted me. She was actually my step-grandma, she was married to my grandpa who is my mothers dad. I was 5 years old when I was adopted. I think I must have been about 7 years old when my grandpa started molesting me. The first thing I remember was him telling me it was a secret and I would be in trouble if I tell anyone. He told me if I did not do what he wanted, that my grandma (momma) would be mad at me. As I was growing up, I remember her always saying how odd I was, because I never asked for anything, or when she bought me toys, I would never play with them. I know now, it was because I did not want to have to "pay" for it. He used things to try to bribe me. Now that I am an adult, I realize he was using my love for her to control me. When I was 11 my momma had a massive heart attack and died 3 times in one day. She was in a coma for several days, but after 18 days, she left the hospital. She lived, I believe for ME!! The abuse lasted until I was 12 years old. One day at school, we watched a film about a man who was abusing his daughter, the teacher spoke to the class after the film and said this was WRONG, and that the victim would NOT be in trouble. That night at home, I was pretty quiet, and thinking about how I could tell on him. I was still afraid she would be mad at me, but at the same time, I wanted this to stop. The next morning he took my momma to work like everyday, he told me to "be ready" when he got back home. Of course, I was never "ready" I hated him, and what he was doing, he had to force me every time. When he got back home I was, as always fully dressed, and sitting at the dining room table eating breakfast. When he walked in, he was telling me to hurry up and get done eating. Little did he know, I had a KNIFE under my leg. I jumped up and pointed it at him, and told him to leave me alone, and take me to school. I told him, I was going to tell momma what he was doing. I tried to pick up the phone, and he ripped it from the wall so I couldn't use it. I turned the tables on him, and said..."if you will take me to school, and promise to never touch or hurt me again, I will not tell on you". He took me to school, and as I was getting out of the car, he said "do you promise you are not going to tell?" I said "I promise". I LIED!!!! I went straight in and called my sister- in- law! She was my momma's oldest son's wife, who because I was adopted is my Brother!! He was also the pastor of our church. To make the long story short, I was removed from the home and investigation began. He got 10 years probation, for my life time of pain. He messed up, and went to prison several times, because he continued to find victims. My momma and I lived a very happy life when he was removed, and we got to move back in our home.
Again, I left out details to keep it short. Please rest assured, I have forgiven both him and my biological mother for the abuse. I realized a long time ago, I had to let go of the past to move on to the future. I learned TEN 2 letter words.... IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME! I still live by this!!
Chapter 3 tomorrow!!!