Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Chapter 4

Well as you all know, I have been pretty busy, so I have not had a lot of time to write chapter 4!  SO...Here ya go! If you have not read chapters 1-3, you might want to do that before you read 4!! A little over 18 years ago, my husband the "DUDE" and I were having lots of problems. I know a lot of people would never tell things that happen to them because they don't want others to judge them, or they are too ashamed, but I feel like I should tell you these things. Maybe, to help you get through your hard times, or to just use what we went through as a testimony of what God can do, IF YOU will allow Him! My husband has NEVER laid a hand on me, he has never even called me a bad name, however, he did have a problem with drugs and alcohol.  Like most people who have that addiction, he neglected his bills and things we, as a family needed, so he would have what he "needed". I was miserable. Being a stay at home mom of 4, the kids would get the brunt of my unhappiness. I would yell & scream at them, instead of just talking to them. I had ENOUGH. I started going to school to become a Medical Assistant, and decided that once I graduate I was going to LEAVE HIM! Time passed, things got WORSE. Around November that year, I begged him to please let me have $400 to buy the kids Christmas gifts. He promised me he would give me the money on Friday. Well...Friday came NO MONEY. My heart was broken. He finally came up with the money, and Christmas for the kids was nice. In January I allowed my kids to go to church with my niece. My brother is the pastor of the church, and my niece is a few years older than I am. She told me I should let the kids go, even if I did not want to go. Of course I could not stand my brother at the time. I felt like he was judging me, and when someone feels guilty, they usually need a scape goat! Anyway, the kids came home from church and asked if we would PLEASE go to church with them some time. We decided to go the next Sunday. My husband still says he went that day to "smooth things over". We were broke, with only $5 to our name. When they passed the offering plate he looked at me and asked if he should give the money. I shrugged and said I didn't know. In my mind, I could not believe he even considered it! He gave the $5. After church, he had so many questions. He was raised a different religion than I was, so it was new to him. I told him that the Bible speaks about giving. At that time my husband used to hang wallpaper. He got paid per roll, so it was easy for him to lie to me about how many rolls he hung so he could keep money for his drugs. He worked for someone else, and only worked if that guy had enough for him to do. He NEVER got a call of his own. Later that day our phone rang....It was a lady who found his card and needed an estimate. We could not believe someone actually called him. We went that same day to do the estimate! She already had her paper, just needed someone to hang it. The job total was $500. He started the next day. All week he worked, and at night he would come home (not normal) all we did was TALK every night. He had so many questions. It was at that time God was working! We went back to church the next Sunday. Surprisingly, the message was all over things we had talked about (in private) all week. We both went to the alter and gave our lives to GOD. From that day until this day, my husband has NEVER done another drug, or drank anything. He was delivered completely, and never even had withdraws! We do serve a mighty God! There is NOTHING on earth worth going back to that kind of life. We have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams. The weeks following he picked up decorators, contractors, and home owners, and started working for HIMSELF. He has never had to work for anyone else since. I continued my nursing and worked for several years as a medical assistant. Later I started working for a direct sales company called Home Interiors. I worked my way up to becoming a Director, and life was good. Don't get me wrong, we have had trials and hard times in the past 18 years, but with God in our life we got through them all. It is by FAITH that we stand. I could never ask for a better husband. Our children are successful, and happy. My 2 girls are serving God, and I know that our sons will too. I pray for them daily, that God will open their eyes. Our youngest son never knew how we used to be, he had just turned 3 years old when we started serving God. I have FAITH that soon he will be ready to make that life changing decision for himself. My prayer is that in my work, on my face book page and through this blog, that I can make a difference in someone else's life. I want people to know that God can change every circumstance and help you through any problem you might be facing in your life. As I spoke of the things my husband did, I must say, even though I never was addicted to drugs or alcohol, I was a MESS. I used cuss words every time I opened my mouth, and I LIED all the time. I think back now, and I realize the reason I lied was because I was unhappy with the reality of my life. Since God change me, I have no reason to lie, and I sure don't use those words any more! Friends that I have met since I have been a Christian, cannot believe that I ever said such things! LOL..To GOD BE THE GLORY!!

9 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for sharing! What an awesome testimony!

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  2. Thanks for sharing your beautiful testimony. I pray that God will continue to really bless your family and all who come in contact with you.
    PS. I love your Facebook page.

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  3. I see so much of me in your story....although I was never molested (that I can remember) I have blocked most of my childhood. 6 pregnancies (4 miscarriages, 1 stillbirth, 1 premature live birth, shes 10 now) 2 marriages, both failed and not my fault. I have always felt unwanted. Current relationship, horrible...Raised by grandparents since 9. No relationship w/my dad and my mom id nasty filthy and a troublemaker for me. Im a survivor, I have accomplished what I have because of me....no one else. I am a Christian, a Christ follower. But I could do better. Thank you for your story...what a refection.

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  4. Wonderful to see a person who walks the walk and talks the talk.

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  5. What a wonderful post. I never tire of hearing how God changes lives so completely.

    I so enjoy your blog ... it's one of the first ones I read every day! What did you do after Home Interiors?

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    1. Thank you so much! After Home Interiors, I became DUMPSTER DIVA!!

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  6. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm a junk lover and inspired by your creations and follow you on Facebook. I'm working through some similar problems right now and working on creating my blog right now, and just happened to check out your blog:)

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  7. Melissa I knew that I found your page for a reason. I just read chapter one through four and must admit that I have also lived through alot of these things in my life. I read your facebook post today about October being your birthday month and that you had created Dumpster Diva to help you get over losing Momma. I belive that this year has been one of the hardest years that I have ever faced and it is because for once believe I am doing the right thing and helping my neice stand up against her abuser. I have lost so many things this year including my every day life with my family. As you know when abuse is going on within the family and it is brought forward it somehow divides that family. My family is going through a crisis and my once happy family that I never thought this could happen to has been torn apart. Before all this happened I was very much a part of my childrens life and loved every minute of it. Since this happened no one comes to my house. If I want to see my daughter and grandchildren I have to go to them. My house was so chaotic and crazy with three grandsons running in and out and my children and all their friends were all ways here. Now it is so quiet and lonely I can barely stand it. I wanted to tell you that through all this heart ache and pain that I have went through this year that I have found what I tuly love to do. I have started junkin and refurbishing and I love it. I have been following as many junksters as I can and I am finding inspiration from all of you but for some reason you have really stood out. Maybe because you are so talented and maybe because of your story who knows. I say both because I love your work! I hope to get to McKinney soon so I can visit your shop and meet you. For the past couple of weeks I have been trying to get there and now I think I know why. Thank you for your testimony and thank you for giving me hope that out of a tragedy that good things to happen. I have always told my children that everything happens for a reason. We do not know why now but in time we will. I can not wait for this nightmare to be over so I can hopefully find the good that is meant to come from it. Thanks you Melissa from the bottom of my heart!

    Shelly

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  8. You remind me of myself, I have been through a very rough time in my life. I was married to a alcoholic who abused me. After 24 years of a horrible marriage and 3 kids later, I finally left him. I went to a woman's shelter and I hadn't work in many years. Long story short, I survived and now have a wonderful marriage to a great man that always takes care of me. All we want in life is someone to love us and I found that person. My children have all had problems and my daughter is in a prison rehab now. She is doing wonderful now and has found a program that truly helped her. She wants to help others when she gets out in October through God's vision. My two sons are doing well now too. To hear your story has made me so happy for you and your family. Thank you for sharing with us. Oh and I love your work. I also do the same thing but on a small scale compared to you. Thanks again!

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